A Happy Marriage - What you both deserve
Ike and Linda Nnene explain how we can have a happy and enduring marriage, with God’s help.
Happiness can be described as a state of emotional or mental wellbeing defined by contentment and intense joy. To be happy in one’s life requires fulfilment in the key areas of health, relationships and career. Happy marriages last - they do not end in divorce. They are strong and stand the test of time. Happy marriages lead to the establishment of happy homes. They constitute an immeasurable source of unending satisfaction and wellness for husband and wife. They provide the foundation for a stable society.
Children from happy homes are more likely to grow into happy balanced individuals than children from unhappy and dysfunctional homes. We owe it to our children to create a stable loving home environment. We owe it to our children and generations to come to leave the legacy of strong marital unions and secure stable family units from where individuals will emerge to make a healthy valuable contribution to society.
In this day and age, one may ask, is it possible to have a truly happy unending marriage? Can one really expect to be genuinely happy with their wife or husband for the duration of their lives 'till death do us part'?
We need to realise that, to a large extent, we have the wherewithal and ability to orchestrate our lives and our marriages. When both partners have this understanding, and commit to doing what it takes, the results are truly awesome. So, we must decide to have a happy marriage. But you may say, no one decides on purpose to have an unhappy marriage or broken home. That may be true, but we have to reap the benefits or deal with the consequences of our actions, and these are determined by attitudes we hold.
If we have the right attitude and align ourselves with the principles in the Word of God we can certainly have a happy marriage. The following steps will near enough guarantee that our marriages will not only survive but thrive and be mutually fulfilling in every way.
H - Hand over your life to the Lord.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Realise that you when you have entrusted your life and your marriage to the one who created all things you are drawing on all the resources of heaven and are giving yourself a much greater chance to succeed. God has given us the template for marriage. He designed and created the institution and has the wisdom and understanding we require to be fulfilled and happy in marriage.
A - Appreciate your partner for who they are including their strengths and vulnerabilities.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Make a decision to be your partner’s lover and to value all the aspects of their person, not only those you find attractive, and make a commitment to cover for any of their weaknesses whether these have been acknowledged or not.
P - Pursue connectedness with your spouse.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:23-24 NIV
Have a desire to have a deep connection with your spouse. Your understanding of each other should be given utmost attention as the frequency of physical contact and profound sexual intimacy. A connected couple in love will have the earnest desire to meet each other's needs. Giving of one’s self to one’s spouse becomes the daily goal.
P - Plan your happy life together.
So, I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV
Fun times generate happy memories. The more you do together that creates an experience of pleasure, laughter and joy the happier your marriage will be overall. Be intentional in the development of recreational times and breaks, as they will create memories that will help carry you through any challenges.
Y - Yield to your partner in everything.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 NIV
Having the attitude of preferring your partner is the sure way of ensuring that your love and respect for them is real and practical. If both of you have the mindset 'it does not have to be all my way', you are fostering an atmosphere of consensus and agreement where challenges do not have to result in arguments and differences are resolved amicably.
Let us all use the H-A-P-P-Y approach to ensure we can enjoy happy, fulfilling marriages for all our days.
Ike and Linda Nnene live in Norwich and worship at Soul Church. Ike is a GP and Linda is a teacher at CNS School, and they are both passionate gospel musicians. They have a passion for marriage, family, wellness and personal development training.
They have a blog called Power and Beauty - www.ikeandlinda.org
To find out more e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
The views carried here are those of the author, not of Network Norfolk, and are intended to stimulate constructive and good-natured debate between website users.