A Woman’s Needs in Marriage
Linda Nnene shares with us some fundamental needs of a woman in a successful marriage.
I have come to realise that there are certain principles for success that apply to every marriage. We may call them different names, but they remain the same principles. We come together as husbands and wives to bring out something unique in our marriages. Therefore, bringing out that uniqueness means understanding our needs and addressing them. I am writing from my experience as a wife and hoping it will bless someone reading this.
Love, Sacrifice and priority
I always want to be confident that my husband loves me which, of course, I know he does.
Ephesians 5:25 explains quite simply how husbands must love, sacrifice and prioritise. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.” This simply means laying down one’s pride, ego and lifting your wife up. Loving your wife means not only saying it but also showing and expressing it.
It is important that I talk to my husband and that he gives me his attention. We may have girlfriends we enjoy hanging out with, and if you are like me my girls outing is something I take very seriously. However, my husband’s attention trumps any sisterhood chats or outings. Wives want to be listened to. As a husband, do your actions prove this?
This is a principle that is close to my heart. A man of integrity is one whose daughter can confidently say she hopes “to marry someone like her father” and whose son is able to speak proudly of and emulate. A man of integrity is one whose yes is yes, and no is no, as stated in Matthew 5:37. Integrity is the hallmark of a Christian.
Psalm 119:1 refers to uprightness of heart. A wife wants to be able to trust what her husband says knowing that every pronouncement has been made from a heart of truth. “A righteous man that walks in his integrity, blessed are his children after him.” Proverbs 20:7.
Are you a man of integrity?
These two go hand in hand. Every wife should be confident to say, “I trust my husband completely.” Wives want to know they are married to a sacrificial sensitive man and that their husbands will be there forever.
Guys, are you faithful? Do your actions say you will be there forever? Does your wife feel that you are guarding and watching over your marriage, home and family, and as a result confident about your future?
Leadership and protection
I not only want my husband to protect our family from all kinds of negative threats that exist in society, he also needs to be working hard and demonstrate the faithfulness of God by fulfilling his role as a breadwinner. Wives require that he leads us daily to our better future, generating prosperity and setting an example for industry and work ethic. He also needs to show leadership in the area of serving the Lord.
Guys, do you lead your family in daily devotions? How well do you lead? Does your wife have confidence in your leadership?
I love being appreciated and valued. Who doesn’t! However we all have different ways that we receive it. Simply saying “thank you” is a welcome gesture. It is highly impactful when my husband is able to go beyond words and make me feel appreciated.
When your wife has gone out of her way to make life simple, take time to express gratitude. Be more specific in your gratitude.
Wives want to feel admired. A daily, regular and sincere compliment goes a long way. Praise her in private and in public too.
Husbands - Do always show affection. It is a good thing to do this as it is a call to deep friendship. The book of Solomon is one to read. When you speak her love-language she will reciprocate in your own love-language. Hug and kiss her, hold her hand, take time out of your busy schedule and call her, offer to do things together, compliment her in front of the children and more.
Guys, with constant affection a wife will feel loved, valued, cherished, and affirmed as the love of your life.
I want my husband to see me as his partner in all aspects of life. When I am making the most mundane decisions, I always want him to be part of that - not just the serious matters. I always want to “do life” with him.
This above list is not exhaustive. The points above are close to my heart. I hope this blesses many of us.
Dr Ike Nnene and Mrs Linda Nnene live in Norwich and worship at Soul Church. Ike is a GP and Linda is a teacher at CNS School, and they are both passionate gospel musicians. They have a passion for and write about marriage, family, wellness and personal empowerment.
Their blog, called Power and Beauty, seeks to promote Bible based living in marriage and family life. You can hear and watch Ike and Linda on their podcast and YouTube channel called Marriage On Song.
The views carried here are those of the author, not of Network Norfolk, and are intended to stimulate constructive and good-natured debate between website users.