Norwich talk stirs "helpful" church discussions

The event was held in Norwich and featured Nay Dawson, author of She Needs, who writes and speaks about women flourishing in the church. Rev. Matthew Price reports on his experience of the event.

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The Norfolk Gospel Partnership recently hosted an event in Norwich with Nay Dawson, author of the book She Needs which explores how men and women can flourish together in the church. The event was held at Servants Church, and was hosted by Rev. Matthew Price, Vicar at St Mary Magdalene Church in Gorleston. Matthew reports:


“I am struck how much emotional energy it took to host the morning. There was something about this event that wasn’t just run of the mill. Both Nay and I were quite nervous going into it. I guess, both having rather conflict-averse personalities, we were really aware that the issues raised by Nay’s book had the potential to illicit strong reactions and unwanted tensions in the room and within the churches NGP seek to serve. Lots of women had booked in, as well as men, and we knew there would be a variety of theological positions on the role of men and women represented amongst the pastors, church leaders and lay people who were going to be present.

But what followed I can only describe as beautiful.

Nay and I carefully clarified expectations- we were not going to be discussing theological positions, but simply exploring together through listening to one another in the room, how church’s can be places where women flourish regardless of theological position on roles. And Nay set a gentle, loving, honouring tone for us all that somehow opened up a sense of warmth, authenticity and humble care in the room.

Then Nay began to present the findings from her research, much of which is summarised in She Needs.

I think people were particularly struck by some of the research - for example the Hewlett Packard statistic, that men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. Apply that principle to when men or women offer themselves for service in the church context, and we need to consider what extra encouragement might need in order to be willing to use their gifts in the life of the church.

Nay also highlighted - again from secular research - how women feel about failure. In the world of professional basket ball it has been observed that it takes men about two hours to bounce back from defeat; for women that figure is more like two weeks! In the discussion group I was part of we had a really fruitful conversation about how our churches can provide safe spaces for all people - but given this research, especially women - to have a go at something and it be ok to fail.

Perhaps the most striking thing about the morning, though, was the honesty and openness I witnessed between attendees. Nay had cultivated a space of trust and readiness to hear one another.

Repeatedly Nay encouraged us to work hard at listening to one another. And I know we will only be able to lead churches where everyone is able to flourish and use their gifts if we have worked hard at listening, empathising and understanding. Again, around my table, I was shocked to hear a woman who I had witnessed perfectly holding her own in male-dominated senior business meetings, express her feelings of nervousness and inadequacies. How might this influence how we approach feedback and mentoring in a church context?

There were also some really practical and relatively easy changes that can be made. Nay pointed out that if the first question was asked by a woman in a seminar, it was much more likely that other women would also ask questions. But if the first question was asked by a man, much less likely. What difference would that make to the church family prayer meeting or a church meeting, I wonder?

It really was a very special morning and I pray - at least for the church I have the privilege to lead - just the beginning of a journey.

But it wasn’t just me. At the end of the morning, Andy Rees, pastor of CityGates church in Norwich said, “We have the blessing of being on a staff team with men and women. Nay raised loads of helpful conversation starters to spur us on to working as even better co-labourers in Christ. It’s provoked us to think about how we stir the gifts God has given us with both sexes to make sure we really are putting them to work for his glory.”

And, Richard James, Vicar of Holy Trinity Church in Norwich, later wrote on X, “we are giving copies of #SheNeeds to colleagues and family and recommending it to our church leadership and members.”

I would encourage every church leader - whatever your theological position on the role of women in church life - to engage with Nay’s work and invite her to facilitate a similar session for your church or network. There is much gold here that, if we’re willing to hear it and make changes as a result, can only make the church both more beautiful and effective in Christ’s service!”


To find out more about Nay's work visit https://www.pfe-women.co.uk/. Nay's book She Needs is published by IVP: https://ivpbooks.com/she-needs


Photo of Nay Dawson and Matthew Price at the She Needs event, courtesy of Matthew Price