Opinion

Dig deeper to discover the real person inside

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7). Rev Christina Rees reminds us how easy it is to judge people by first impressions, and fail to appreciate the depths of each person God has created.

A little while ago I was having lunch with two friends; one, James, a poet, artist, editor and a former colleague from when we’d both been working in a consultancy firm and the other, Jo, a close friend of James and a rabbi who had led a congregation for many years and who now teaches Hebrew and holds on-line classes on various books of the Bible. She also writes Regency romance novels - not necessarily an obvious career trajectory!
 
As I looked at my two friends, James, tall, bearded, distinctive and Jo, petite with bright red hair and alabaster skin, I thought how no one would possibly be able to guess even a fraction of the truth about their lives, their talents and their scope of knowledge.
 
Perhaps someone might come close to guessing that James is an artist – he has a certain artistic flare about him – but they could never suspect his deep knowledge of literature, history, practices such as reflexology and remedial massage or that he had been a senior director in one of the top professional services firms.
 
I also reckoned that no one could ever imagine Jo’s line of work or her prodigious knowledge of the history, language and theology of the Torah and other books of the Old Testament, or that she has also worked with many Christian ministers, presenting with them a deeper and more knowledgeable view of writings in the New Testament.
 
My friends may be especially difficult to pigeonhole with their ridiculously wide range of gifts, knowledge and experience but I think that goes for many people. When I see interviews on television, for instance, with some of the women who worked in Bletchley Park during the Second World War, speaking about how they broke the codes of the German messages, I realise that if I had seen them sitting across from me on a train, I may have assumed quite mistakenly that they were just sweet elderly women who had dedicated their lives to their families and good deeds. Or if I see old men telling stories of their daring feats of bravery on foreign battlefields, I realise I might have written them off as mild-mannered types, who had probably never strayed far from their hometowns. How wrong could I be?!
 
Having lunch with James and Jo reminded me, yet again, not to assume too much about the people I meet. Of course, it’s sensible to try to pick up clues about who they are from what they say and how they look. After all, that’s how we get to know people and how we discern whether or not we might wish to spend time with them.
 
I’m still learning to listen better, ask more questions and be open not only to what they say but also to how they relate to me. I never know what I will discover about someone, even if they look like the most tame or conventional person in the room!    

The image is AI generated.

Rev’d Christina Rees CBE is a writer and broadcaster, Associate Priest at St Peter’s Church, Sheringham and Director of the LI Tim-Oi Foundation, a charity that supports Christian women across the world with educational grants so they can follow their calling. Christina was born in the United States and grew up on a small wooden sailboat, travelling the world. She was a member of the General Synod of the Church of England for 25 years was awarded a CBE in 2015 for ‘services to the Church of England’. Christina’s books include The Divine Embrace and Feast + Fast – Food for Lent and Easter.
 

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