Norfolk Christian's story of terror and hope
Norfolk Christian Loren Brown tells the remarkable journey of how she was transformed from the grip of horrendous fear to a life of freedom after an unexpected encounter in a nightclub.
Loren describes her rebellious teenage years, “I had already run away from home at 13 having spent the night in the West End Central Police Station, thrown out of school by the time I was 14, pregnant by 15, a hideous illegal abortion in the backstreets of London by 16. So I already had a lopsided view of the world, which travelling in the fast lane nearly always seems to give you.”
Exciting exploits followed for Loren in the ‘70s, culminating in a police chase across Europe with her husband-to-be and a 'stolen' case of money. A long drawn out court case ensued on their return to the UK, both avoiding jail.
Loren said, “Life had been very high or very low and by the age of 25 I found myself in the worst place possible; face to face with the terrors inside my own head.”
Loren experienced terrifying nightmares, depression, relentless suicidal and murderous thoughts. At night, she used to dream about people in horrendous pain. She couldn’t understand what was going on, why she was feeling like this or how to stop it. Loren describes feelings of confusion, terror and venomous anger rising up from inside of her. “I only knew that no one else heard the screams that were going on in my hidden, ugly world.”
Loren went on holiday to Tenerife with a friend to try to escape the repetitive nightmares but they continued to be relentless. One night in particular – 21 July 1976 - is etched in Loren’s mind forever. It was the night everything seemed to come to a head. She and her friend were in a nightclub when the thought dawned on Loren that if she hurt people then it would make her own pain ease.
Loren describes her thoughts as a deadly cocktail of rage, hatred and craziness and she felt the need to vent it on somebody, anybody, everybody. “The thought of killing made me feel vaguely happy! Was this the way to find my happiness? I began to feel this euphoric stirring. No sense of fear or agitation. Just pleasure that someone was going to be on the receiving end of all my rage.”
In the midst of Loren’s turmoil a young American man approached her saying that he was told to go out and meet a very special person that night and that he was convinced it was her.
Loren thought it was a lame chat-up line but then the man proceeded to tell her about Jesus. There, in the middle of the nightclub, Loren prayed and asked for God’s forgiveness.
She describes the feeling of a terrible black force leaving her body and the certainty that even though she didn’t fully understand what was happening, she had been transformed.
“I was bursting with the most incredible light, colour, radiance, brimming over with happiness and strength. For the first time in my life I was alive! As my head hit the pillow that night, my world was finally at peace. Never again was I to experience the terrors of the blackness. My healing was beginning; healing of my mind, body and soul. I knew that my true life had just begun.”
Loren is passionate about sharing her story with other people going through similar experiences and is happy to speak to groups about her remarkable journey. She plans to get her story in print in order to help others and is exploring the options for writing her autobiography and would welcome advice and assistance in achieving this.
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